He Loves You.

hey homie, hope you're doing well. 

Jesus loves sinners and He loves you so much, He created you to be in His image. He loves you when you mess up because He can heal all. 

He loves people in their broken and messiness. 

He is so strong and died for us. 

Isn't that amazing? 

Jesus literally died for our sins. 

He could stop at any moment but He didn't He died for us. 

God put these people in our lives to show us the shining light and that everything will be okay. 

Jesus changes hearts. 

He cares about you and me so incredibly much. 

He loves us even through our excuses.

It's okay to be sad and broken and messed up. 

Jesus doesn't want you to be perfect but He does want to to follow Him. 

He still knows all about you when you say no to your friends. 

He knows your positives and will give you the strength to fix the negatives in your life.

He knows what and who you surround yourself with. 

When He was on that cross, He was saying your name over and over again knowing you will follow Him.

I wanted to say Let Go and Let God. Let Him control all, even your hard times. That is completely okay, He wants you to find out more about Him. 

How could this not be real? 

I struggle with that, it's normal. How cool is it that the God who created oceans and animals and clouds and mountains and this wind and your family, all these great things, looked down into the world and said there needs to be a __fill in your name__ on this earth. He looked down and created us so individually and uniquely. He knows every single hair on our head and every thought that goes through your brain, disbelief and all. God needs nothing yet He chooses to pursue you. You are valuable, don't let anyone tell you differently. He put us on this world for a reason, to honor Him in all we do.

I hope you know that. 

no social media

here's an update on my past week, simple entries. on my no social media experience.

Monday: Just fine, went to YL didn't think about it much, phone was very empty when I woke up.

Tuesday: Thought about it a lot more, starting to bother me, Nice day out, went to play volleyball with My sister, texted some friends, planning events for  FCA, found myself bored and looking through my calendar😳

Wednesday: Busy during lunch (FCA), watched the neighbor kids at night, starting to really suck without social media but I don't have much longer now! not attached as much to my phone as I used to be. Hands don't hurt as much, Watched all the new YouTube videos. 

Thursday: Stayed after for yearbook, Took a friend home, texted a lot, realized how much I tweet and snapchat and post on Instagram

Friday (LAST DAY)  : Just have to get through until 6pm, people were using Twitter and snapchat at the lunch table, young life came after school and surprised us, how to look forward to something, people will fail you- you do it for you.

What I learned in this whole experience:

People will fail you. People aren't forever and neither is a commitment. I learned I'm pretty connected online. I'm not sure if I'll ever do this again.  Happiness isn't measured in the hours scrolling through the apps on your phone. Gods love is just the same with or without social media! 

 

On figuring myself out...

"A thousand times I've failed, but still your mercy remains." 

Does your happiness come from other unimportant people, or the people that love you unconditionally? 

Does over editing your selfies define you or does God's love for you define who you are? 

Does your happiness based on Double Stuffed Oreos and lemonade or does it rely on turning your heart to the One who made everything?

Does your personal joy come from Jesus Christ and His Holy Name or your negativity from your insecurities?

Does your strength rely on the hundreds of YouTube videos you watch or does it rely on the quiet times you have within? 

Does your self-esteem come from being beautiful in God's eyes or does it break down when others judge you and you worry too much?

Does your positivity come from scrolling on Twitter or does it come from praying to Our God?

Does your motivation come from your cell phone or really listening to your friends? 

Does your nervousness come from your late night thoughts when you can't shut your brain off thinking of earthly things or does your peace come from having a relationship with the One that created you? 

Do I want to continue to do Young Life in college or do I want to put my focus on something else?

Does your satisfaction come from text messages coming across your screen or sitting in church worshiping Jesus?

Does believing help you with everything or would you be the same plain and with nothing? 

I need to find where my heart is, where it has been and where it will be in the future. I need to let go of the past and figure out the future. Yes, I think God will provide but I have my whole future ahead of me I need to get ready for. I'm going to struggle in college I know it. I have never been in a school so large. I'm going to need to change my attitude again and I'm not ready for that jump. I need to find the answers to those questions. I need help, God. I fail constantly, I'm confused and lost and broken and I don't know what to do with my life. But, Jesus, You make my heart peaceful.