But you (or people close enough to me) also know it’s not just what I look like or how clean my car is but it’s also my mind is a total mess as well. It’s going in every possible direction at all times of the day and night. I have a job, I babysit, I go to school.
I also have places that I love and want to be at 24/7. Home, Camp, The Lake… to name just a few. I try to keep up a social life with my friends, and I really do try to go to church as much as I can. Fall is an extremely busy time!
But I can’t be everywhere at once. I am only one person, I can only do so much. This is the biggest lesson I have been learning in the past 2&1/2 months since I’ve been home from camp… I can’t be everywhere. As much as I want to and as much as I try, I can’t do all the things at once. I have extremely bad “FOMO” and have taken off many weekends at work because of it. See, at camp I could walk to the waterfront, walk to the dining hall, walk to the health office, walk to pretty much anywhere on camp. And now I can’t do that at home.
EDIT: I think I have "FOMO" which stands for the fear of missing out, so bad because I never had a close friend group growing up. It took me almost 16 years to find my forever friends but I write about that in many different parts on my blog.
I never had friends that I could hang out with and just be kids with when I was little.
I missed out on a lot, up until I was a teenager, because my class was very rude to me. I can remember many afternoons when I would come home just crying my eyes out because the other students would say mean things to me, I can remember many days when I heard about birthday parties and hang outs that I was never invited to. I think this is the reason why I have "FOMO" because I was constantly surrounded by several different situations like this over the first 16 years of my life.
Now I know The Crew knows a bit about this but they don't, actually no one but my immediate family, knows the extent of this. It definitely negatively impacted my life.
EDIT: I think I have "FOMO" which stands for the fear of missing out, so bad because I never had a close friend group growing up. It took me almost 16 years to find my forever friends but I write about that in many different parts on my blog.
I never had friends that I could hang out with and just be kids with when I was little.
I missed out on a lot, up until I was a teenager, because my class was very rude to me. I can remember many afternoons when I would come home just crying my eyes out because the other students would say mean things to me, I can remember many days when I heard about birthday parties and hang outs that I was never invited to. I think this is the reason why I have "FOMO" because I was constantly surrounded by several different situations like this over the first 16 years of my life.
Now I know The Crew knows a bit about this but they don't, actually no one but my immediate family, knows the extent of this. It definitely negatively impacted my life.
The world is so big and there are lots and lots of things to do out there- that I want to experience. I’m much more of a experience person than a person who wants gifts (I love getting/giving gifts, don’t get me wrong) but take me on an adventure. Let’s post some cool pictures to Instagram. (we can thank the social media major in me for that) Let’s tell stories and make memories in every moment. I don’t want to be stuck in a building all day. I can not possibly wait until I can work from literally anywhere in the world.
So yeah, being busy is hard. But also doing everything alone is also really freaking hard too. Everything I do, I am by myself. I drive to campus by myself, I go to babysitting by myself, I go to church events by myself.
Ever since I got home from camp, I have felt nothing but lonely. I came home to my loving family & friends like usual, but it’s not like living with 70+ other staff, doing the same thing as you, 24/7. But I really am trying to embrace this hectic time of my life. I rely on random encouraging messages from friends, hour long conversations with my aunt on the phone or seeing one of our regular customers at work. I hate being alone most of the time because absolutely love people. (I think that’s the ENFP in me) I totally am a people person so mostly whenever I am this busy, it’s because I know a lot of people and never want to miss out on things happening with them!
Out of my mess, I want people to learn that it’s okay to be busy and it’s okay to get home at the end of the night and not be able to keep your eyes open. You’re blessed to be living this life where you can know and love all sorts of people and where you can know and love all sorts of places in this world… It’s okay for you to try and do “all the things” but it’s also okay to fail at that. No one can do it all, take it easy on yourself.
Don’t stress out too much, it’ll be alright.
