Every good and perfect thing is from Above James 1 17

in fields of flowers, in the farmer’s fields of corn or soybeans, fields of pumpkins, fields of grass

in anything really…

there’s bound to be a flower, a corn stalk, a soybean plant, a pumpkin, or a patch of grass that is almost dead, there might be a little bit of life left to it but one out of the thousands probably won’t grow as it’s supposed to, wont be the prettiest or what society considers “the best” and that is sadly true amongst humans as well. unfortunately, I have felt like those almost dead, no good, pushed aside, not cared for plants. sounds crazy but I think those were the ones surrounded by the “popular” plants. the barely holding on, colorless flowers were the ones bullied by others, called names, and just so sad and upset. maybe these were the ones that came home crying to their parents about how rude people are. maybe these were the ones who can barely hold on anymore and just looking for some kind of light to hold onto.

I’ve felt like this. I’ve felt like a plant with no sun, can’t grow or go anywhere. 

I’ve felt like a person who is stuck in one place mentally for years, not able to expand into anything more. 

I honestly believe if it wasn’t for my wonderful God giving me friends who basically saved me from all the hurt, all the lies and all the struggle emotionally I really truly wouldn’t be the person I am today. I would be in that same place, lost, confused sad and not growing one bit.

My friends changed me for the better. I am and will forever be eternally grateful for The Crew. They love like Jesus does and I hope to laugh with them forever. They are the most special thing to me and I never want that to end.

I guess I have never came out and actually told the story of how I met The Crew.

The story goes like this… (not going to say names, & I am currently a sophomore in college)

The summer before my junior year of high school, young college kids from my church started a youth group. some older members of 2 pretty big families at my church ran it. I started going and became friends with them just a little bit. I knew of them from church and events around town, but I never actually hung out with them before this. So when junior year came around, I still went to the youth groups but I didn’t start hanging out with them until this happened to me…

There was this girl I met when I went to the public high school after 9 years of Catholic education. We became friends almost immediately… we liked the same songs , were in some of the same classes and sat at the same lunch table. We hung out a lot, we watched movies in her basement, we went shopping together, I became friends with her family and she knew mine.

So our junior year of high school happened and she went to another school and I could just feel that something would happen between us. 

And no matter how long I thought about it I could have never been prepared myself for what was next. 

I remember it like it was yesterday,

every detail of that horrible day.

April of 2015…

I walked over to say goodbye to her as she was talking to some of our other friends and I heard her say “my boyfriend this… and my boyfriend that… blah blah blah” but in the weeks prior to this, her parents said no to this guy she was dating because he was in and out of drugs, came from a rough home life and just had a hard life in general. remember; to this day I haven’t met him and yes I realize that I could have done this so much differently but I said “wait what? you don’t have a boyfriend. your parents said no.” I was honestly just trying to protect her from hurting from not being able to be with him. she screamed at me that morning saying how unsupportive I was of her decisions. how bad of a person I was and how I will never get anywhere in life. she left me horrible voicemails, sent me paragraphs about how terrible I was and always will be. she sent me things no one should ever have to read. I was shocked. I had no words. I tried to push it out of my mind so fast.

How could a friend of mine like that change so quickly? How could she say all these bad things about me? 

I ran to The Crew after this happened and they have assured me (plenty of times) that I’m worth it. That real friends are forever and will never do anything to hurt me.  That all those things she told me were just lies and none of it was true. They have never once asked me to change. Never once spoke one mean word to me. They look out for me and go out of their way for me. They have always accepted me for me. my broken, confused, lonely and messy self. They reassure me that I was fearfully and wonderfully made by Our Creator. I have never experienced this before. All the people I have met have been full of rumors and negativity. They aren’t… they have nothing but good in their hearts.

The summer after my junior year I went to Buckeye Girls State and was shown first hand… this is how girls are really supposed to be; supportive of each other through it all. 

Through this and everything since, The Crew has showed me nothing but love for me. They show me how real friends act every single day. They have taken me on adventures since day 1 and I have the best time of my life with them. I trust them more than I have ever trusted anyone before. They accept me, care for me and push me closer to our ultimate goal of Heaven. All the time I ask God, “What? Me? No way! What did I do to deserve these awesome people???” He says I do in every way. I would have never thought I was the kind of person who God would do this to. He gave me friends that will do anything for me and I can’t say Thank You enough. I am so thankful to our most gracious God for giving me The Crew. There was a lot more that went into this all and a lot of hurt that came out of it. 

But Today, I am proud to say that I am a beautiful flower reaching high to the sky, with my hands up open wide, praising Jesus thanking Him for The Crew. Now, I am a totally different person. I am in a much better place because of The Crew. I have changed for the better, grown more that I could have ever thought and made real true and honest friends that my family adores. There is never enough time I could spend with them.

I could have never imagined this is how my life would play out. I am now the tallest flower, and I have grown tremendously since that day. 

“Every good and perfect thing is from Above.” -James 1:17

I wish I lived on campus…

If you knew me at this time last year, I was absolutely begging to live on campus. I would say it on any down time I had. I thought that was the solution to all my problems. It was my phrase instead of screaming "I HATE COLLEGE!" and running away I'd say "I wish I lived on campus! That'd make everything easier." 

And it would. 

I would get better grades because I would have resources right there for me to access. I wouldn't have to walk in the dark to my car. I wouldn't have to get into a blistering hot car in the summer after a long day of classes or a freezing car in the winter after walking across campus in the snow. I'd be earlier to my classes and less stressed. And most importantly, I wouldn't have to drive 35 minutes one way, to get to school. 

And the list goes on and on forever. 

But honestly, I love commuting.

Because if I didn't commute…

I'd miss out on staying at my aunts house since she lives so close to campus. I'd miss out on when the family wants to go on a quick trip somewhere, I'd miss out on talks on the back deck mostly every night. I'd miss out on playing the backyard baseball games that happen a lot around here. I'd miss out on picking my sister up from school and going to get ice cream after words. offer.  I wouldn't have any problems with my roommate because my sister is the only roommate I've ever known (since she was born) and if I'm being honest, I'd miss out on that too. I'd miss out on Saturday morning breakfast at The Charm. And the annual Christmas parade. I'd miss out on bike rides with my dad and sister around town. And going up to the park to hammock. I'd miss out on every little thing that this small town has to offer. 

I really enjoy spending time at home with my neighbor kids and all my family members! I love snuggling up in my own bed every night and having a home cooked meal to come home to. 

On campus, I have access to my car whenever I want. I can go home when I feel like it and don't have to plan it out for just the weekend. I get to drive my friends around and get to run errands when I'm done with class because I'm in the city. 

Yes, even after I post this I'm sure you'll here me complain about commuting… but it's really a blessing to live within commuting distance of my school!!