What defines me...

A unknown source once wrote, "As much as you want to plan your life, it has a surprising way with unexpected things that will make you happier than you originally planned" I try to plan my life and control every aspect. But, I love to find out the little unexpected things in life that make me happier. I never imagined seeing myself going to the University Of Toledo next year. But, I have came to realize what I need to do. I need to have faith in my plans and my God. I need to rely on my friends and family. And I need to continue to be a leader as life goes on. What defines me isn't just the 123s or abcs of Lauren Hite. And I have no idea what someone would find if there was a dictionary with my name in it. Maybe they would find kind, caring, sweet, loving, faithful, passionate, supportive. Maybe it would say my patience, when I have nothing or my attitude, when I have everything. Or Maybe not. Maybe, that person would find under my name that one time I didn't answer my phone when my friend called me to make sure I was okay but I was broken inside or that time I hid in the school bathroom crying. But my mistakes don't define me. My mistakes aren't who I am. They were just mistakes. The definition of Mistake is to make a wrong judgment of the character or the ability to understand incorrectly. and I am so sure you wouldn't find Mistake under my name in the dictionary. Maybe, someone that turns to my name would find, Three things that define Lauren are faith, friends and family and love of being a leader. 

My faith In God is stronger than my fears. He gave me one book to read. I love to Journal my thoughts on different scripture verses. I couldn't go without my faith journal or Bible. My God is my life and I love him passionately and deeply. 

My faith comes from family, passing it on from generation to generation. Family by Definition is, a group of people who are related to each other. My family remains close to me even in times of trouble and I hope to be as good of a person to my children in the future, as they are to me now. We are very close and I don't think I will ever push aside being with them. I put my family before anyone else! 

But, God made us good friends because He knew our parents couldn't handle us as siblings The literal definition of a Friend is a person who helps or supports someone who you enjoy being with. And my friends have done just that. I have friends are there for me when I need it, I have friends that constantly pour love and support into my heart. I have realized some friends left me empty and pushed aside, but I now have new friends that our path hasn't been the smoothest but it has made us stronger friends, to this day. I strive to be strong and lead my friends through life. 

Leadership is very important in my daily life. Leadership is the understanding and pursuing the job put in front of you.  A leader according to merriam-Webster a leader is defined by a person who authority or influence. 

Leadership is not about bossing people around, it is about standing up and taking action when needed. It’s about being kind and a role model and to who people will want to look up to. Throughout my years at Evergreen, my leadership skills have skyrocketed. The leadership actions I have taken here, at EHS, are something I will never forget. 

I assure you I'm not by definition, quote on quote "perfect".  I have my mistakes and I have my brokenness. But I do know, I was called to be a leader. I was called to go to Evergreen and do great things. I was called to be in my family and I was called to have my friends. Some days, things don't go right. You need to take the steps to make it right. You should have the leadership to guide your life how you want it to go and I wish for nothing less but greatness from you. Thank you. 

Upset but stronger than the stress...

Lately, over the past 4 or so months I have not been in the best mood. I have been mad at pretty much the whole world. My attitude kinda sucked. There was so much hate built inside me and I don't know how it even started. Looking back, it felt like I was in a good spot in life. But at the time, I didn't know how to think I was just confused and tired of being pushed aside. I didn't want to be apart of anything or show up to things. I didn't want to show up and pretend I was happy and nothing was going on. Because it was.  Something deep inside of me, even when someone close to me asked how I was doing I would plain out lie. "Oh I'm doing good" "Today was an alright day"

"I'm doing just fine" 

But, really I wasn't. Even the happiest, strongest people fall down sometimes. I wanted to be so far apart from the ones I loved that I stopped posting certain things on social media and only showed up and left to basically all the events I went to. I filled myself with negative thoughts and was confused on what actually I kept acting happy for. I just kept being a positive person but I would fall apart soon after. 

Im always reminding myself to continue to be strong and positive. There are so many amazing and beautiful things God has put on this Earth for us to discover. He put friends you can lean on when you don't think you can keep up with this constant race, we keep running in circles doing the same thing over and over. I'm on lap (day) 16/366 right now. But, don't act like while you're running and pushing through life that you will experience the same thing, you won't. There will be a spot that's just for you in Heaven and that's our main goal. 

You might not get into the college you saw yourself at or you might be sick when you want to go somewhere with your friends, promise me that you won't be mad at God. He is doing the best for you. He loves you so much.I think of it as He has a huge notebook and you and your life has a page full of awesome content. He wants to see your strengths. He wants you to turn to him and stop saying "I'll figure it out." Because you won't... you'll be lost and scared and tired and broken. 

As you're going through each and everyday, feel more confident, raise your head high and start smiling through it all. Maybe it won't go the way you planned but God has it perfectly under control. He's not stressed on what will happen to you tomorrow, He knows it all. When you can't breathe because you're rushing through everything, slow down and look for the positives. It might be a friend that sends you a really nice message or a good grade on your homework you struggled on last night or an awesome new Bible verse you are dying to tell everyone you know. But maybe just maybe we all need to be a little stronger and a little more happy in life. I wish you nothing but good luck, well wishes and all time happiness in your life.