Upset but stronger than the stress...

Lately, over the past 4 or so months I have not been in the best mood. I have been mad at pretty much the whole world. My attitude kinda sucked. There was so much hate built inside me and I don't know how it even started. Looking back, it felt like I was in a good spot in life. But at the time, I didn't know how to think I was just confused and tired of being pushed aside. I didn't want to be apart of anything or show up to things. I didn't want to show up and pretend I was happy and nothing was going on. Because it was.  Something deep inside of me, even when someone close to me asked how I was doing I would plain out lie. "Oh I'm doing good" "Today was an alright day"

"I'm doing just fine" 

But, really I wasn't. Even the happiest, strongest people fall down sometimes. I wanted to be so far apart from the ones I loved that I stopped posting certain things on social media and only showed up and left to basically all the events I went to. I filled myself with negative thoughts and was confused on what actually I kept acting happy for. I just kept being a positive person but I would fall apart soon after. 

Im always reminding myself to continue to be strong and positive. There are so many amazing and beautiful things God has put on this Earth for us to discover. He put friends you can lean on when you don't think you can keep up with this constant race, we keep running in circles doing the same thing over and over. I'm on lap (day) 16/366 right now. But, don't act like while you're running and pushing through life that you will experience the same thing, you won't. There will be a spot that's just for you in Heaven and that's our main goal. 

You might not get into the college you saw yourself at or you might be sick when you want to go somewhere with your friends, promise me that you won't be mad at God. He is doing the best for you. He loves you so much.I think of it as He has a huge notebook and you and your life has a page full of awesome content. He wants to see your strengths. He wants you to turn to him and stop saying "I'll figure it out." Because you won't... you'll be lost and scared and tired and broken. 

As you're going through each and everyday, feel more confident, raise your head high and start smiling through it all. Maybe it won't go the way you planned but God has it perfectly under control. He's not stressed on what will happen to you tomorrow, He knows it all. When you can't breathe because you're rushing through everything, slow down and look for the positives. It might be a friend that sends you a really nice message or a good grade on your homework you struggled on last night or an awesome new Bible verse you are dying to tell everyone you know. But maybe just maybe we all need to be a little stronger and a little more happy in life. I wish you nothing but good luck, well wishes and all time happiness in your life.