I don't know if you can see me, I don't know if you're the key. I don't know if you are looking down on me and smiling from ear to ear.
These people are flooding my mind of how you are so proud of me.
Up in heaven, do you brag about your grandkids?
Do you love us just as much as you did down on Earth?
I get constant reminders that you see all my huge accomplishments and even small milestones in my life. But, it's not the same for you not to be here to hug and love. It's not the same when I look out and there is an open seat next to my family and you aren't sitting in it. It's not the same how I have to wear your jewelry for me to feel like you're with me. I don't know what I have done without you. You were my whole life.
Should I move on and carry you with me? Or should I be angry at God? I find my comfort here, cause I know that you are near. God gave me such an amazing grandma and I am so happy to call you my Busi. It's been 3 years since your death and I still am shocked. I play the day you died over and over in my head. If I would have done something for you or with you, maybe the outcomes could have been different.
That day isn't just a normal one it's something that I look back on. I want to go back to where it all happened, the closet we were all shoved in, to the huge room we got to ourselves. Yes, the memories and the family time brought us a lot closer but the sad thing is, you had to leave us.
God was calling you home. So what am I doing sitting here writing this for?
You are up in heaven enjoying every second of it with God and your loved ones right by your side. But again, I find myself here on Earth longing for you to be back. I shouldn't be.
I should be happy you're in heaven- with colors I've never imagined before, and gardens for as far as you can see, you are in heaven being the best you can be. No, I will never understand why God took you so easily but I am so overjoyed you are with him now. He only takes the best.
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