still trying…

im not good at telling stories. I’m so easily distracted it’s not even funny. i'm a messy eater. half the time i don't make sense. i lose track of time easily. i leave the tv on. i'm unsure about every decision i make. I’m on my phone for too long.  i always forget to bring dishes from my room. i don't reply to messages for days. I suck at a lot of things and sometimes i just want to stay in bed all day and throw my phone across the room. i engage in conversations i have no interest in. i sometimes don’t think before i speak and I have no idea what I’m doing. I have no clue why I’m in college.  I trust people too easily but then sometimes i don’t trust them enough. I hide things from my friends even though I know they will always be there for me. I always think I’ll just figure it out when the time comes without actually doing something about it when i can. I feel like God is so far away. 

I am broken and lost and confused in life. 

i care more about the opinions of others than my opinion of myself. 

i'm still trying to figure myself out. i'm trying to acknowledge the not so obvious and not so appealing traits about myself. not for any reason. just trying to get to know myself a little better.