What If I Told You…

today my sister and I were listening to the radio and "What If I Told You" by Darius Rucker came on and I just started crying. That song means so much to me because it perfectly describes my relationship with The Crew. It took me my whole life to find Godly  friends and I can honestly say it was so worth the wait. Even though, It took me my whole life to find good, true friends but the weird thing is, I've known them my whole life. I don't remember how exactly I met each one of them, it wasn't a formal "Hi, what's your name?" and a hand shake. It's just I've known of them ever since I was little, from seeing them at church. It took me so long to find the people who were already there. 

I would come home from school in tears, from being bullied, being made fun of, kicked out of a lunch table and you name it, it probably happened to me. I've always prayed for real friends. 

But God tripled and even quadrupled my request for friends. I thought I might have 2 or 3 close friends by now in my life but God said nah I've got bigger plans for you. God put so many amazing friends in my life, when we go see movies there's like 20 of us and we take up the whole row in the theater.  When we have game nights, it's so loud but my heart is so full. When a movie is playing, there is no room left on the couch and everyone is fighting for pillows!! When we play backyard volleyball, there so many people on each side. 

It's such an amazing feeling to have friends that will do anything with you.

The second verse of the song starts with "What if I told you sometimes I lose my faith?

I wonder why someone like you would even talk to me." Sometimes I do lose my faith, it's true. When that happens, I wonder why they still talk to me. Why would they talk to me? I'm not perfect at all, but Hey! they don't care. They know I'm not perfect but chose to be my friend anyways. "What if I told you there's no fixing me cause everybody's already tried" They love me anyways. They bring me closer to our God each and everyday. I have never, ever had anyone who loved me that much to push me closer to our Creator. They love me and look past my broken pieces and my messy past. 

The next part of the song goes, 

"If I told you all the stupid things I've done,

I'd blamed on being young…
But I was old enough to know, I know" 

I have done so many stupid things and shared so many stupid stories with them. But, they look right past that and are still friends with me. Friends are forever, no matter what. 

"What if I told you I don't plan on staying here? My dreams are a million miles away

And I know your family's gonna want you to stay…

You know what? 

I don't blame them."

Don't get me wrong, I really love our small little town with all my heart but my dreams are sooo far away. In a big city, with lots of job opportunities and more experiences and more things to see and do. I know that their family will always be here and no matter where I am or how long I am gone. Nothing will change between us. 

I am so thankful for my wonderful friends. The people that are full of adventure and spontaneity and laughs and movies and backyard volleyball and sunsets. I have had so many crazy fun experiences with them that I wouldn't change for the world. 

what I've learned this summer… '17

With school right around the corner and less than 2 weeks left of summer, I thought I should write. I have learned a lot this summer… I have learned that things don't always turn out the way you planned or the way you think they should. And I've learned that there are things that go wrong that don't always get fixed or get put back to the way they were before. 

These past 4 months (and 2 days… but who's counting?), I've learned a lot about myself & grown into a much stronger person because of it. I've learned to love, smile and be happy again. 

I've learned to let go and experience life for myself and how I want to without chasing anyone else around. I've learned how to camp in a tent for a weekend and how to force myself into crazy adventures that might scare me at first, but I learned to love them in the end.  I've learned to step up into my role as a Freshman Camp counselor and give back to the organization that has done so much for me in the past year. I've learned that I can do anything I set my mind to. I've learned how to save money and not spend it the second I get it. I've learned that waiting is so much better than jumping into anything. I've learned to be alone and be comfortable in the silence. I've learned that I need to be better for myself, my God, my future… 

I've learned to turn towards Jesus and put it all in His hands. I've learned to stop worrying & stop caring about other people who don't care about me. I've learned new songs that can just simply be new songs & not remind me of anyone or anything. I've learned that things change & people change and that's okay. I've learned (well mostly convinced myself) that it's okay to unfriend people you don't talk to anymore. It doesn't mean you try to cover up the past it just means that you move on and are thankful for the memories. I've learned that no matter how bad it seems now, life goes on. I've learned (and taught myself) how to heal. I've taught myself that it's okay to grieve the loss of someone still living as long as you don't stay there. Tomorrow will be better and you will come out stronger from this. I've learned that "making a living" isn't the same as "making a life". No matter how cliche it sounds… you are only young once. You are only able to do somethings now at your age so why don't you?! Take off 3 weekends from work to go camping with your friends & go to FC. You'll remember the moments and the people and the laughs more than you will the small amount of money you make. 

Another thing that I've learned about myself this summer, is that I might have to do everything alone. I might not have the important people supporting my decisions. I chose to be a camp counselor because I love it. Because I wanted to give back. Because I wanted to help the freshman make those new friendships that I got to make. Maybe those people in my life didn't care for it, but I did and that's all that matters.

I've lost myself and then found myself all over again. I've learned to move forward from the past. I've learned to love myself more. I've learned that everything can & will change. I've learned to not let late nights consume me, and not to worry about anything; it can be fixed in the morning. I've learned to be kind to myself, because sometimes I only have me. I've learned that some broken things stay broken for a long time and I've learned that I can get through bad times and look forward to better times as long as I have the people who love me.

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn. I've learned that people will forget what you said, forget what you did but never forget how you made them feel. I've learned that I'm smarter than I give myself credit for and stronger than I ever thought possible.

 But most importantly, I've learned to be free… I learned to be independent and love life again.  

And in the end all I learned was how to be strong alone. 

God's masterpieces

in the mood to do some writing… 

look what God painted on the sky & in my heart tonight… 

I was thinking about the sunset as I was looking at it 
on my drive home tonight, so blessed that God creates 
a beautiful masterpiece day in & day out like a sunset 
for us to look at, I just don't know who would see a gorgeous sunset & not thank God for it. (which is something I always do!) but when I was also thinking of that, 
I thought of the other clouds in the sky at the same time as the sunset. 
everyone stares at the sunset & admires that and thinks how awesome of a job God 
did on it. But they don't look at the other clouds in the sky. They don't turn around 
and face the other direction than the sunset and see those clouds. 
(Like the clouds in the right of this picture) They don't admire that God created those too and they are all apart of the picture. It's kind of like people you meet, 
there might be one person or even a group of people that others look up to, 
the "populars" and think they are the best and are truly shining. 
But the general public doesn't even acknowledge that there are other people 
just as good out there, maybe different and not always apart of the main group… 
but didn't God create those too? 
Didn't God make them who they were too? 
you might just have to look around to see them & take your eyes off the main focus (or the main group of people taking center stage). 
God made all things beautiful. 

This might make no sense to anyone but God put that on my heart tonight 
so I hope you take a few minutes to look around and realize that God created all things in His image. 
so thankful for sunsets that show me all Gods creation every night❤️

But most importantly, do it for your own self.

Go ahead and do it.

Do it for your God.

Do it for your future little.

Do it for all the jobs you will get.

Do it for the experiences.

Do it for the opportunities.

Do it for the education.

Do it for your family.

Do it for your future family.

Do it for your future family's lake house you want.

Do it for your friends.

Do it for all the people you will soon meet. 

Do it because it's your passion.

Do it to succeed.

Do it for all the money you will make.

Do it to get out of this small town.

Do it for the kids that look up to you.

Do it to be happy.

Do it to prove it.

Do it because everyone knows you can.

Do it for everyone you've ever met.

Do it for your campers, this year and your campers in the years to come.

Do it because no one else did.

Do it to say Yup, I did it.

Do it to graduate.

But most importantly,

Do it for your own self.

Tips & Tricks for Freshman Year of College:

Yes, you graduated high school! Finally you aren't stuck in one building all day not breathing fresh air for hours anymore! You are off to the real world and for some of you that might just mean college! If you have college in your future, here are some tips and tricks to help you out…

•Just when you thought you were the big fish in the pond you are now the smallest little minnow fish on a huge college campus. If you're like me, I went from graduating from a small school with 82 in my class to stepping onto a college campus 35 minutes away from my house with 20,000 new strangers. I was lost. Completely lost. I didn't know where my next class was and I still don't know how I manage to walk clear across campus in the 5 minute time slot I have between classes. 

•What has helped me most is to get involved!! That is a huge one to me! Show up to events, no matter how busy you are. Show up, have fun, meet new people. It can never hurt. Yeah, you can go to the free ice cream event even if you will be a few short minutes late to class. Yeah, you can go to the Zumba event even if you are a horrible dancer. Go and make memories! Yeah, you can do what you want. Join clubs!! Meet friends!! These are the people you will hopefully be close with the rest of college or even the rest of your lives! Freshman year is hard but getting involved will help you through the adjustment period!

•Talk to people in your classes!

This may sound like the typical advice everyone in the world tells you but I promise it helps! For example, the night before my third day of college, my math professor emailed and said have 2 other partners to work together with tomorrow morning. I of course, read the email and ignored it because I didn't know anyone in class and that was unlike me. So I walk into class that day, take a seat in the front row and read the board. Once again, it said have 2 other partners. I turned around to look at rest of the lecture hall I was in and I saw 2 girls sitting alone and I asked if I could sit with them. I didn't know that day but those girls turned into some of my best friends, one of the best decisions of my college career so far!!! One of the girls was from a town about 20 minutes from my house and we had a lot in common and the other girl was from Thailand, still learning the English language. We also became close with the group behind us, they were so fun to be around and we always had help when we needed it! 

•Don't spend too much money (or at least be careful with how much you are spending)

I'm a commuter so I don't have a meal plan on campus, I just have to put money on my student ID to eat on campus. I usually only have to eat lunch there when I have breaks in between. That money can add up quickly. I try to find the best deal I can get with any of the restaurants my college offers. Including a salad bar, a burrito place, Magic Wok and Subway. My college also offers Starbucks and a different smaller coffee shop. I'm a sucker for Starbucks' Strawberry Acai Refresher with Lemonade (It's kind of hard for me to pass up), because I'm not much of a coffee person. 

What I've learned this year is, that drink can just be a treat it doesn't have to be an everyday thing. This will help on keeping yourself a little bit healthier and not spending $5 on a drink everyday or every time you are craving it. 

Those are just some of my tips and tricks for your first year on campus!! Wishing you all a happy, safe and fun Freshman Year and hope these tips helped!!! :)

on the lake

With lake house season coming into view and Memorial Day Weekend even closer, I thought I would dedicate a blog post to those of us fortunate enough to spend our summers at a lake house. 

We all have different experiences at our lake houses, some may include all of your extended family, some may be a place you live all summer, and some may be a safe haven where you can just sit back and relax, but all of us understand these things:

You have traditions for the drive up.

Every time you drive up to your lake house, you have traditions that you have set to make the drive go by faster. Whether it is stopping at your favorite McDonald's with the best iced coffee you've ever had or driving through an area with the most gorgeous houses you've ever seen, or you always stop at the same dollar store for snacks to get you through the rest of the drive or if you're like me and my sister we always mute the radio and scream "I-N-D-I-A-N-A that's Indiana!" when we pass over the state line. You always have things to look forward to while driving up. 

You have lake friends that you can't wait to see all winter. 

There's nothing like having lake friends to look forward to the whole school year. While you don't talk 24/7, seeing them reminds you of summer, and you love it. Nothing beats a day out on the water with some of your favorite lake neighbors.

Your friends beg you to take them. 

You constantly have to hear your friends begging you to take them up to your lake house, and if you do, and it's 100 times more fun being able to show someone around and let them experience the fun that you get to have all summer.

You've been able to drive a boat since you were 10.

Or even before… Yeah, maybe you never officially got your boating license, but you've been driving boats like a pro since you were a kid.

Swimming with fish doesn't even phase you.

Unless you're my sister, then you still panic every single time seaweed or the smallest fish touches the bottom of your toes.

You've gotten your worst sunburn ever there.

You still remember that one time when your everyone told you to put on sunscreen, but instead you didn't listen and stayed in the pool for 4 hours with your friends. Somehow the UV rays were the strongest they've ever been that day, and you had to walk into the cookout that night in red-skinned shame and couldn't sleep that night. You didn't let anyone touch you at all, it hurt so bad.

There's nowhere else that relaxes you as much as your lake house. 

Whether it be a stressful week or not, coming to the lake house and sitting on the deck is an instant relaxer. Even just smelling the lake air gives you a calming feeling. There is nothing better than laying out, blasting music while on the boat or swimming around all day.

You get super close with your family. 

You get to spend quality time with your grandparents and sleep right next to your sister. A lake house is the perfect way to bring your family close together. 

You know all the best spots on the lake. 

You know where the fresh water stream is and it's always colder over there and with your eyes closed you could probably drive the boat to your favorite place to anchor the boat and jump off of. You even know your favorite houses to look at along the lake and the parts where you can see cool animals, like snapping turtles. You probably know the lake like the back of your hand and you know you could never get lost even if you tried.

The townies intrigue you. 

The people that live in town are always the absolute nicest group of people. They are always the first to say hello in passing and constantly have smiles on their faces; but who wouldn't when living in such a beautiful place near so many bodies of water? You're always jealous of their lives and wonder what it must be like to be on the lake whenever you want. 

Water activities are your favorite past time. 

Tubing, relaxing on the pontoon and even just jumping off the dock are the best times of the summer and have been your favorite activities since you were a kid. You'd do anything to be floating on the lake right now. Summer can't come soon enough while you imagine long days of being on the water.

You have your summer lake house "foods". 

Absolutely nothing beats fresh corn on the cob or a grilled cheeseburger with extra pickles, and I look forward to it all year. You love roasting hot dogs over the fire and the day wouldn't be complete if you didn't finish it with a s'more at the end of the night! Everyone has those summer lake house foods that you really only eat while up at the lake and that makes it even more enjoyable.

Nothing beats a campfire at the end of the day.

Friends gather around and bring chairs and treats and blankets and sit around the fire and we all just share stories and pictures and memories from the last time we saw each other. Those are some of the best times!

You know your favorite local restaurants whenever you want to eat out.

When you finally get to go to the restaurant famous for its potato salad, or the one with the awesome pretzels or the best chicken fajitas in town, you know this is what you have been waiting for all winter! You can't forget to get donuts in your pajamas the next morning! While at the lake, you try to only eat at local restaurants you can't get back home.

All your favorite memories are spending time at the lake. 

There are no better memories than the ones you've made while up at the lake. And so many of your memories growing up are at the lake. Life is truly better at the lake and that is where your happiness lies. Spending time  with your family is priceless, learning skills like swimming and boating are things that you'll keep with you forever, and all the laughs and time spent with your favorite people are ones you'll never forget. You hope that one day you can bring your own kids up to your lake house and give them the experiences that you valued your whole life up at the lake. I am extremely blessed to have grown up on such a beautiful lake, an awesome community and I have the best grandparents around! 

here's to freshman year!

well here I am sitting in rocket hall, and I just got done with my last exam of freshman year!

(and no I don't need to come next week!!!) 

as I look back on this past year, it's been full of highs & lows. full of new experiences, full of memories I will never forget. 

freshman year, you were hard. 

and sometimes, you were lonely. 

you were confusing. 

I sadly lost some friends but I've gained so many more. 

but freshman year, you were amazing. 

you were full of new friends. 

you were full of Gods love for me. 

ultimately, you were good.

this year has changed my life for the better. 

I got to go to places I would never imagine I would be at. and I got to become best friends with complete strangers & I now I couldn't see my life without them. 

I got to be on the PINK Toledo campus team all of my freshman year!!! what? that was a dream come true! I got to become friends with Judy & Lindsay, my awesome reps and honestly, they got me through a lot. I would be  lying if I said I won't cry when they graduate. I received campus team member of the month in March! 

I attended the first weekend of Freshman Camp 2016 and met friends that I have kept all year. They are honestly some of the best people ever! 

And a few months later, I had the awesome opportunity being a Freshman Camp counselor. and I also got awarded member of the month in February. this is organization is so amazing and I can't possibly wait to meet my campers this summer!! training since last September is going to pay off when I get to see them for the  very first time!! 

I got jimmy johns with Hanna, way too many times and I got to see Kaleigh get engaged! and I showed my friend, Saranlak, from Thailand, around my hometown.

I hung out with The Crew a bunch, I love spending time with them!! I am so thankful God put them in my life. I got to go to Washington DC with The best Crew around!! What the heck, God is so good!I am so glad they are pro-life and I loved taking the trip to The March for Life with them! While I was in DC, I got to visit with my friend Annie who goes to school out there. They love me like Jesus does. They assured me (many, many times) that nothing, no matter how embarrassing or stupid I am, nothing will ever change between us. They showed me that true friends will always be there for me, through the good and the bad.

I got to celebrate with Christy at her bridal shower and got to meet with Mike in the student union every week!

My family and I took an awesome trip to Dayton and while I was there I got to visit with my friend Lex. 

I became close with my twin in the UY, Betsy and we went to a concert together! she is such a great friend!!

I had the opportunity to give the witness talk at ignite and I am so glad I did!

I interviewed for a huge company that I have loved forever!

I took on an internship (for class credit) through Tribe21 as their social media editor!!!

don't let anyone tell you commuting doesn't suck. it does. a lot. 

This year, I drank too many smoothies and put a lot of miles on my car but I would so do this year over if I could! 

never would I have ever thought, my first year of college would play out like this. 

But, oh man! I am so thankful it did.

when I walked on to campus my first day, I was lost. I didn't know where to go. I didn't know how I was gonna get through all that was piled on me.  

but I'm so glad I did. I survived freshman year!

I have had new friends from here at UT and old friends from back home supporting me in amazing ways.

But this year I was sure of one thing, God is in Toledo and He totally moves in Toledo!!

I can't stop smiling because I never thought this day would come.

this year I have gotten so much more comfortable with Toledo and I love calling this place home💙🚀

here's to 3 more years of being a Rocket and man do I love it! 😊

happy summer! summer '17 please be good to me❤️