life update 11/10/17

Hey friends!

UPDATE:

Wow, this semester has really flown by! UT is now on a shorter semester schedule, so many of the class times and course schedules have changed as well.

It is hard to believe that it is already November, and that December and finals will be here before I know it! This semester has been filled with many bumps along the way but I have come to this point stronger than ever. hills and valleys, people!

I have been meeting up with Chris & Pip for dinner about once a month or so near campus. How cool is it that God has us in, pretty much, the exact same area in this season of our lives!

I have been trying to get more involved with The Catholic Student Association on campus this semester. I attended Girls Night where we learned how to paint a beautiful fall tree and I have been going to the general meetings as well. I would love to really get to know even more people in CSA.

Freshmen Camp is in full swing like always at this time of the year with mandatory Thursday night meetings. At meeting last night, we had our annual Friendsgiving meal. If you don’t already know, I have stepped up in the University YMCA and Freshmen Camp programs this year… I am now the Christian Emphasis Coordinator and I give a little devotional speech before each meeting, it is a nice way to start meeting every week and bring people together. Taking on this role on Cabinet for the UY also consists of office hours in our UY house. During office hours, I clean the house, work on my devotional for the week, homework and anything else I need to get done. 

Next weekend, we are trying something new for Fall Retreat and going up to Camp Storer for a night. We are going to do some volunteer service work around camp to work off our stays there throughout the year. I am really looking forward to it! That will be my 9th time at camp in 9 years:)

I am also taking a huge step into being a level 2 Freshmen Camp Counselor, facilitating more and learning as much as I possibly can… (so please pray for all of  that!)

A few more things:

•I’m scheduling classes for next semester so that’s exciting!

•Babysitting, working and going to college creates a very busy schedule for me! 

•God has been really teaching me patience in all aspects of my life, recently. 

•I have been LOVING to post on my blog and get my thoughts out there.

•I am excited for thanksgiving soon and getting a couple days off!

•I have a huge trip to my favorite place EVER with my favorite people EVER, lined up for about 2 months from now and I can’t possibly wait!!

I’m sure there’s a ton more but… Any and all thoughts and prayers are more than welcomed in the coming weeks as this semester is ending! 

Thanks to all my family and friends for sticking by me and encouraging me along the way! Have a great day :)

still trying…

im not good at telling stories. I’m so easily distracted it’s not even funny. i'm a messy eater. half the time i don't make sense. i lose track of time easily. i leave the tv on. i'm unsure about every decision i make. I’m on my phone for too long.  i always forget to bring dishes from my room. i don't reply to messages for days. I suck at a lot of things and sometimes i just want to stay in bed all day and throw my phone across the room. i engage in conversations i have no interest in. i sometimes don’t think before i speak and I have no idea what I’m doing. I have no clue why I’m in college.  I trust people too easily but then sometimes i don’t trust them enough. I hide things from my friends even though I know they will always be there for me. I always think I’ll just figure it out when the time comes without actually doing something about it when i can. I feel like God is so far away. 

I am broken and lost and confused in life. 

i care more about the opinions of others than my opinion of myself. 

i'm still trying to figure myself out. i'm trying to acknowledge the not so obvious and not so appealing traits about myself. not for any reason. just trying to get to know myself a little better.

what it’s like when your dad works from home…

so long story,

February 2010. My mom, sister and I are at home. Dad went to work just like normal. Dad calls (which isn’t unusual). Except it wasn’t Dad. It was one of his coworkers. My dad broke his leg. And it’s bad. He twisted it in plastic wrap while working and fell. They are rushing him to the hospital. Meet him there. My dad has never broken a bone in his body.

I’ve never seen my mom drive so fast. Immediately, he was pushed in the doors on the stretcher. soon to find out Dad broke both bones in his leg. emergency surgery. immediate tears. 

a rod is put in his leg and multiple screws at his knee and ankle. I’ve never seen my dad in so much pain before.

He was so upset this happened. multiple nights in the hospital. we were so scared.

finally he gets to come home. which was followed by countless days with his leg in a cast, having to keep it elevated. lots of meals and long nights were spent in his lazy-boy chair. months later, I remember the day they said he could finally put weight on it. crutches and walkers and canes were a normal thing in my house during that time. he can’t run at all anymore. and he can’t walk long distances. 

the doctor said he needs to get the strength back in his leg, he suggested going on a bike ride if he thinks it was healed enough. 

that’s what sparked my dad’s obsession with old bicycles…

from that point forward, hundreds of bikes have came through our barn out back and basement. my dad buys them at a cheap price, fixes them up to the best it can be and resells it. any bike. any age. any condition. he will trade pieces and parts and clean the bike up to look brand new. 

he goes to bicycle shows, swap meets, estate sales, garage sales, old pull barns just about anywhere he thinks he could find an old bicycle. 

my dad does it all and on top of all of this he still works a 40+ hour work week. 

Isn't he the coolest? 

here’s a small glimpse as to what it’s like having a “bicycle shop” out of our house:

•it’s not an unusual thing to come home to 3 to 5 bicycles in the front yard for sale

•when someone pulls in the driveway, we automatically know to yell “Dad! Someone’s here for a bike!” it’s a normal saying around the house these days

•it’s also not an unusual thing to come home to some person in our driveway talking to my dad about bikes or him giving us a 5 minute warning that someone is coming over to look 

•my dad is usually texting or calling people who want to make a deal on a bicycle

•my sister and I are always making signs with how much money my dad wants to get from each bike $$

•he will buy a bike from a garage sale down the street, make me ride it home, clean it up and put it by the road and make a profit

•he once saw my friend riding an old bicycle from when my dad was a kid he tracked him down and asked to buy it from him 

(he did. it’s in the basement.)

•he’s known as “the bicycle guy” around town

•it’s “you got a bike you’re getting rid of? I’ll send whoever I can to pick it up!”

•it’s having to run outside in the pouring down rain to get a bicycle that someone is coming to buy soon

•it’s taking multiple pictures and editing them multiple ways of each bike he has

•it’s getting out of the shower and being surprised that my dad sold a bike within the time I was in there

•it’s going on bike rides around town with my dad  riding a new bike each time

•it’s people saying nice bike. all. the. time.

•it’s all hands on deck when it’s garage sale day around here

•it’s getting a phone call (or just coming home to) and it’s my dad asking can he sell MY bike… 

(wasn’t very happy about that one, but he said he’d save the money for my books for college)

•it’s having my dad scroll through my Facebook just looking for a good deal on a bike someone must have posted

•it’s looking for free bikes along side of the road. doesn’t matter the vehicle we are in. he will make it work. (even if it means taking them apart, loading them in my little car. the trunk didn’t shut. probably not good. we always get the bikes though.)

•it’s driving anywhere and seeing a bike for sale along side of the road and telling my dad and he says “get in the car! let’s go see if it’s still there!”

•it’s taking a Father’s Day trip to the Bicycle Museum of America (it was really fun trip!)

•it’s when me or someone in town is having a problem with their bike, they bring it to my dad. 

my dad simply does it all. If you need anything, my dad can do it. (or he knows someone who can!) my dad is awesome and I am so grateful for him and his hardworking and adventurous personality!

I love you Dad, thank you for everything! 

Every good and perfect thing is from Above James 1 17

in fields of flowers, in the farmer’s fields of corn or soybeans, fields of pumpkins, fields of grass

in anything really…

there’s bound to be a flower, a corn stalk, a soybean plant, a pumpkin, or a patch of grass that is almost dead, there might be a little bit of life left to it but one out of the thousands probably won’t grow as it’s supposed to, wont be the prettiest or what society considers “the best” and that is sadly true amongst humans as well. unfortunately, I have felt like those almost dead, no good, pushed aside, not cared for plants. sounds crazy but I think those were the ones surrounded by the “popular” plants. the barely holding on, colorless flowers were the ones bullied by others, called names, and just so sad and upset. maybe these were the ones that came home crying to their parents about how rude people are. maybe these were the ones who can barely hold on anymore and just looking for some kind of light to hold onto.

I’ve felt like this. I’ve felt like a plant with no sun, can’t grow or go anywhere. 

I’ve felt like a person who is stuck in one place mentally for years, not able to expand into anything more. 

I honestly believe if it wasn’t for my wonderful God giving me friends who basically saved me from all the hurt, all the lies and all the struggle emotionally I really truly wouldn’t be the person I am today. I would be in that same place, lost, confused sad and not growing one bit.

My friends changed me for the better. I am and will forever be eternally grateful for The Crew. They love like Jesus does and I hope to laugh with them forever. They are the most special thing to me and I never want that to end.

I guess I have never came out and actually told the story of how I met The Crew.

The story goes like this… (not going to say names, & I am currently a sophomore in college)

The summer before my junior year of high school, young college kids from my church started a youth group. some older members of 2 pretty big families at my church ran it. I started going and became friends with them just a little bit. I knew of them from church and events around town, but I never actually hung out with them before this. So when junior year came around, I still went to the youth groups but I didn’t start hanging out with them until this happened to me…

There was this girl I met when I went to the public high school after 9 years of Catholic education. We became friends almost immediately… we liked the same songs , were in some of the same classes and sat at the same lunch table. We hung out a lot, we watched movies in her basement, we went shopping together, I became friends with her family and she knew mine.

So our junior year of high school happened and she went to another school and I could just feel that something would happen between us. 

And no matter how long I thought about it I could have never been prepared myself for what was next. 

I remember it like it was yesterday,

every detail of that horrible day.

April of 2015…

I walked over to say goodbye to her as she was talking to some of our other friends and I heard her say “my boyfriend this… and my boyfriend that… blah blah blah” but in the weeks prior to this, her parents said no to this guy she was dating because he was in and out of drugs, came from a rough home life and just had a hard life in general. remember; to this day I haven’t met him and yes I realize that I could have done this so much differently but I said “wait what? you don’t have a boyfriend. your parents said no.” I was honestly just trying to protect her from hurting from not being able to be with him. she screamed at me that morning saying how unsupportive I was of her decisions. how bad of a person I was and how I will never get anywhere in life. she left me horrible voicemails, sent me paragraphs about how terrible I was and always will be. she sent me things no one should ever have to read. I was shocked. I had no words. I tried to push it out of my mind so fast.

How could a friend of mine like that change so quickly? How could she say all these bad things about me? 

I ran to The Crew after this happened and they have assured me (plenty of times) that I’m worth it. That real friends are forever and will never do anything to hurt me.  That all those things she told me were just lies and none of it was true. They have never once asked me to change. Never once spoke one mean word to me. They look out for me and go out of their way for me. They have always accepted me for me. my broken, confused, lonely and messy self. They reassure me that I was fearfully and wonderfully made by Our Creator. I have never experienced this before. All the people I have met have been full of rumors and negativity. They aren’t… they have nothing but good in their hearts.

The summer after my junior year I went to Buckeye Girls State and was shown first hand… this is how girls are really supposed to be; supportive of each other through it all. 

Through this and everything since, The Crew has showed me nothing but love for me. They show me how real friends act every single day. They have taken me on adventures since day 1 and I have the best time of my life with them. I trust them more than I have ever trusted anyone before. They accept me, care for me and push me closer to our ultimate goal of Heaven. All the time I ask God, “What? Me? No way! What did I do to deserve these awesome people???” He says I do in every way. I would have never thought I was the kind of person who God would do this to. He gave me friends that will do anything for me and I can’t say Thank You enough. I am so thankful to our most gracious God for giving me The Crew. There was a lot more that went into this all and a lot of hurt that came out of it. 

But Today, I am proud to say that I am a beautiful flower reaching high to the sky, with my hands up open wide, praising Jesus thanking Him for The Crew. Now, I am a totally different person. I am in a much better place because of The Crew. I have changed for the better, grown more that I could have ever thought and made real true and honest friends that my family adores. There is never enough time I could spend with them.

I could have never imagined this is how my life would play out. I am now the tallest flower, and I have grown tremendously since that day. 

“Every good and perfect thing is from Above.” -James 1:17

I wish I lived on campus…

If you knew me at this time last year, I was absolutely begging to live on campus. I would say it on any down time I had. I thought that was the solution to all my problems. It was my phrase instead of screaming "I HATE COLLEGE!" and running away I'd say "I wish I lived on campus! That'd make everything easier." 

And it would. 

I would get better grades because I would have resources right there for me to access. I wouldn't have to walk in the dark to my car. I wouldn't have to get into a blistering hot car in the summer after a long day of classes or a freezing car in the winter after walking across campus in the snow. I'd be earlier to my classes and less stressed. And most importantly, I wouldn't have to drive 35 minutes one way, to get to school. 

And the list goes on and on forever. 

But honestly, I love commuting.

Because if I didn't commute…

I'd miss out on staying at my aunts house since she lives so close to campus. I'd miss out on when the family wants to go on a quick trip somewhere, I'd miss out on talks on the back deck mostly every night. I'd miss out on playing the backyard baseball games that happen a lot around here. I'd miss out on picking my sister up from school and going to get ice cream after words. offer.  I wouldn't have any problems with my roommate because my sister is the only roommate I've ever known (since she was born) and if I'm being honest, I'd miss out on that too. I'd miss out on Saturday morning breakfast at The Charm. And the annual Christmas parade. I'd miss out on bike rides with my dad and sister around town. And going up to the park to hammock. I'd miss out on every little thing that this small town has to offer. 

I really enjoy spending time at home with my neighbor kids and all my family members! I love snuggling up in my own bed every night and having a home cooked meal to come home to. 

On campus, I have access to my car whenever I want. I can go home when I feel like it and don't have to plan it out for just the weekend. I get to drive my friends around and get to run errands when I'm done with class because I'm in the city. 

Yes, even after I post this I'm sure you'll here me complain about commuting… but it's really a blessing to live within commuting distance of my school!!

finding my calling...

“Mom, what should I dress up like for career day?” I asked in 5th grade. My mom and I must have gone through at least 50 different jobs that day after school and of course I said no to all of them. What about a hairstylist? Um, No. What about a grade school teacher? How about no. What about a nurse, an interior designer or a lawyer? Definitely not! What about a chef? “Mom, I’m so bad at cooking.” I said. “But, they will teach you!” None of these future jobs sounded up my alley at all. My mom asked finally, after so many choices, “Well, what about a TV Reporter?” You see my mom calls me “411” because I always like to know all the information in town, at school, at home and just about everywhere! I don’t remember the exact conversation, if I even said yes right away or if I was a bit stubborn about it but (you could bet on that). I soon found myself in a nice shirt, sweater and a black skirt standing in the classroom as a TV Reporter. The week before career day came around my dad and I made a microphone out of scrap paper and cardboard. We printed out a logo from the show, Entertainment Tonight and glued it to our DIY microphone and this all felt great to me. In class that day, we had to go around the classroom introducing ourselves and our dream jobs to the other students. I walked around the classroom, microphone in hand, and in that moment I finally knew this was my calling and what I wanted to do with my life! I was so excited!

I was then and still am now prepared to take any steps I need to get to achieve my goal. This job is perfect for me because I love talking to people some might say I will talk to anyone! When I got to college I found my dream major which is Media Communications. I started to meet professors and instructors in the Communication department and little by little my dream was starting to take hold even before my first day of college! On my orientation day, my mom and I got a tour of the UT 10 news studio. It was so cool to look around at the different sets, classrooms and computers that make it all happen. An interesting and neat thing I learned that day was that the Communication students can sign out video cameras to shoot their own projects for their classes. Also the communication students can come into the studio at any time of the day and work with the video editing software on the University’s computers. I am so looking forward to the day I am able to get in the studio and explore but most of all I can’t wait to get in front of the camera and tell everyone all the information I know. I really enjoy the classes at UT that I am required to take and the TV studio on campus is an amazing place to me. My major focuses in Broadcasting, working behind the camera and working online. I will also learn more about social media which I have a huge passion for. My parents think that my phone is just an extension of my actual hand.

People always ask me what my dream job would be after I graduate with a Media Communications degree from The University Of Toledo and I say anything in broadcasting especially in front of the camera! I would be happy with being a TV Reporter or working at a news station behind the camera at least to start. I would also love to run a company’s social media account or even get paid to blog for a company. I am open to any of these career options as long as I get a good paycheck and can live my dream of becoming famous! To start my job off I am very interested in working at 13 ABC Action News in Toledo, Ohio. It would be great to start there and work my way up in the industry. Eventually I would like to work in New York City or Los Angeles, California these are two places I have actually never been.  I would like to work in either New York or Los Angeles because I believe there are more job opportunities at TV studios and media companies in the bigger cities. This has been a dream for me ever since I was in that 5th grade classroom. I am just a small town girl with big city dreams!

What If I Told You…

today my sister and I were listening to the radio and "What If I Told You" by Darius Rucker came on and I just started crying. That song means so much to me because it perfectly describes my relationship with The Crew. It took me my whole life to find Godly  friends and I can honestly say it was so worth the wait. Even though, It took me my whole life to find good, true friends but the weird thing is, I've known them my whole life. I don't remember how exactly I met each one of them, it wasn't a formal "Hi, what's your name?" and a hand shake. It's just I've known of them ever since I was little, from seeing them at church. It took me so long to find the people who were already there. 

I would come home from school in tears, from being bullied, being made fun of, kicked out of a lunch table and you name it, it probably happened to me. I've always prayed for real friends. 

But God tripled and even quadrupled my request for friends. I thought I might have 2 or 3 close friends by now in my life but God said nah I've got bigger plans for you. God put so many amazing friends in my life, when we go see movies there's like 20 of us and we take up the whole row in the theater.  When we have game nights, it's so loud but my heart is so full. When a movie is playing, there is no room left on the couch and everyone is fighting for pillows!! When we play backyard volleyball, there so many people on each side. 

It's such an amazing feeling to have friends that will do anything with you.

The second verse of the song starts with "What if I told you sometimes I lose my faith?

I wonder why someone like you would even talk to me." Sometimes I do lose my faith, it's true. When that happens, I wonder why they still talk to me. Why would they talk to me? I'm not perfect at all, but Hey! they don't care. They know I'm not perfect but chose to be my friend anyways. "What if I told you there's no fixing me cause everybody's already tried" They love me anyways. They bring me closer to our God each and everyday. I have never, ever had anyone who loved me that much to push me closer to our Creator. They love me and look past my broken pieces and my messy past. 

The next part of the song goes, 

"If I told you all the stupid things I've done,

I'd blamed on being young…
But I was old enough to know, I know" 

I have done so many stupid things and shared so many stupid stories with them. But, they look right past that and are still friends with me. Friends are forever, no matter what. 

"What if I told you I don't plan on staying here? My dreams are a million miles away

And I know your family's gonna want you to stay…

You know what? 

I don't blame them."

Don't get me wrong, I really love our small little town with all my heart but my dreams are sooo far away. In a big city, with lots of job opportunities and more experiences and more things to see and do. I know that their family will always be here and no matter where I am or how long I am gone. Nothing will change between us. 

I am so thankful for my wonderful friends. The people that are full of adventure and spontaneity and laughs and movies and backyard volleyball and sunsets. I have had so many crazy fun experiences with them that I wouldn't change for the world.