on troubles…

““I have told you these things so that you can have peace in me. In this world you will have troubles. But be brave! I have defeated the world!””

‭‭John‬ ‭16:33‬

I have The Bible app and I have it set up where it sends me the verse of the day in a notification on my phone. It’s a neat feature because I try to read the rest of the chapter and even the ones around it and bookmark some other important verses. I usually read it in the morning but I just now read today’s at almost 10pm at night and this was it. Man, did it hit home. 

Lately, for the past month or more I’ve been going through some pretty tough things that I never thought I would have to go through. I don’t know what I am supposed to be doing so I am giving it all up to Him.

I try so hard to get out of the mindset of “God, I’m a good person. I go to Church. I love You and I love my friends and family and important people in my life. Why me?”

But, looking on the positive side- I remember He has a plan for me. He has carved out this marvelous plan for my life and I am so glad I get to live it. Even though all of this bad has been happening, I am the kind of person that always looks on the bright, more positive side. And I’ve thought about this being a blessing in disguise because I have been listening to advice more, pouring into my friends and family more, working on my grades more, just appreciating life more and praying more than I ever have. 

He says we will “have troubles”. He doesn’t promise us a beautiful, stress free, no problem filled life because we know God. In fact he says the opposite, he says clear as day, we absolutely will have troubles. But it is so worth it to give your life to Christ.

This life is hard as heck sometimes. It can be really confusing. It makes no sense and sometimes I have zero clue what I’m doing. But He tells us to “Be Brave!” Because He has “defeated the world!” How cool. I think that advice alone is one of the most beautiful things I so desperately needed from this verse of the day. He already has defeated the world and all the problems and difficult things we have to wake up and face everyday. He simply tells us to “Be Brave!” He already knows His plan for our lives. 

He knows you completely and knows what you’re going through right now. And He is, without a doubt, guiding you along. 

So if you’re going through something- remember that God: The Creator of Heaven and Earth and of you!! assured us to be brave in the troubles we are going through. Stick with it a little longer. God is on your side!

my testimony

Hi friends, I’m here to share my testimony tonight with you. I must have restarted this blog post a few different times because I don’t really know how to start. 

Okay, Hi I’m Lauren. I was born to a loving mother and father, in August of 1998. I was baptized in the Catholic Church a few months later. My dad isn’t Catholic but my mom and her 2 siblings grew up Catholic. My mom has taught Catholic preschool for about 30 years now. That’s where I learned my love for kids! 

I went to a Catholic school for Kindergarten through 8th grade. I made my First Communion, my First Reconciliation, and my Confirmation there. My sister is 2 years younger than me and went through the same things. We went to church pretty much every weekend and we have been involved in the parish community as well there. We loved the school, the staff were incredible and helped us out so much. Forever thankful for all of them! 

The next 2 huge parts of my life, completely changed my story. 

My 6th grade teacher, died my 8th grade year at the school. (October of 2011) She was on the emergency squad for our township. That Friday morning, she got a call about an accident about a mile or so from our school, and immediately went to help. She was directing traffic and someone came out of nowhere and hit her with their car. It was heart shattering news to our whole community. She was amazing and did so much for all the students. I love her and miss her everyday.

You could say this year of my life wasn’t so great because another sad story… 4 days after my 14th birthday and a few days before high school started (August of 2012), I lost my grandma on my moms side. She was beautiful, she could light up any room with her laugh and always looked out for her grandkids. We called her Busi, polish for grandma. She died of a blood infection after being in the hospital for a few weeks. This hit our family really hard and honestly nothing has been the same since. I miss her, all the time.

I then started high school, which was very hard to do without my grandma. I went to a public high school down the street a bit. At first, I wasn’t a huge fan of the school but at the end of my 4 years there, I didn’t want to leave!

To keep myself busy not to think too much about what had just happened to me and also to meet new people, I joined some clubs at school. Throughout HS, I was in SADD, Spanish Club, Student Council, FFA, Yearbook, Young Life and Fellowship of Christian Athletes. I volunteered for just about anything there. I set up for all of the dances, was president of our SADD chapter and a student leader in FCA as an upperclassmen. I remember it so clearly… my first FCA meetings. I knew I wanted to go because I went from being able to go to church and talk and learn about God all the time, to not being able to speak about Our Creator in public school very much. But at the first couple meetings, I didn’t say anything. I was so silent (which is very unlike me! lol) Eventually, I gained the courage to talk and share my experiences and I became a student leader my last two years of high school. In our sessions at lunch, I really loved getting to speak about The One who created me and loves me so much that He sent His only Son to die for our sins. To me, that’s just incredible. My Junior and Senior year when I was leading, are the times that I really built myself on from then on out. It increases my faith being able to teach others, as well. 

I hated my high school, at first. I didn’t want to go at all. I would say that was like freshman year & maybe even early sophomore year.  I learned to love EHS so much and didn’t want to leave when I graduated. I wasn’t involved in sports or popular very much but I just talked with pretty much everyone. I sat at the head seat of our table in the cafeteria and met a lot of people that way. 

The summer before my Junior year, I started hanging out with my large group of friends, I now call The Crew. I have a million posts about them, so feel free to check them out! The Crew is the best thing that has ever happened to me and wow I’m so blessed to know and be loved by them! 

Speaking about my Junior year, life hit me again pretty hard. I have another blog post up about what happened… but basically the one best friend I had since the beginning of school, had then picked a guy she didn’t even barely know… over me, her best friend. It was pretty hard for me to get over. She yelled and screamed at me, telling me that I would never get anywhere in life. I have a huge heart and always care what people think of me and really took everything to heart back then. That was pretty much HS for me. I fell back on The Crew a lot during this hard time. God was showing me that The Crew will always be there for me and believe me, they really have!! They have totally strengthened my faith and re-inspired me to keep my relationship up with God. I have never had friends like this it still blows my mind everyday that they choose to keep me around, even when I don’t deserve them at all. They show me Jesus in every way possible… everyone deserves friends like these! 

My sister and I were involved in our area Young Life, when I was in high school. We went to Young Life fall weekend and it increased our love for Christ even more!

Then, Senior year came around… I graduated from high school, got my first real job, and I soon started college. I have been going to my church’s Ignite worship nights once a month, they are so much fun and great for an hour in the middle of the week with Our wonderful God! They play awesome music and have time for prayer throughout. 

Currently in college, I am a Freshmen Camp Counselor and The Christian Emphasis Coordinator in The University YMCA, that runs Freshmen Camp if you didn’t know. 

I’m now a Sophomore in my (almost) second semester. I have had nothing but great friends in college. I have never met one person who has been rude to me at all and I love it! The atmosphere is just so different there then in high school. 

To keep up with my busy schedule, something I do is check my Bible app, on my phone, as much as I can. It’s one of the best apps I have honestly, it let’s you choose what version of The Bible you’d like, highlight and save verses and even Bible study plans with daily reminders and devotionals! I would totally suggest getting that app! It keeps my favorite verses or chapters I want to study deeper, all organized together. 

I got my first ever Bible for Christmas this year! (I’ve been sharing my moms for a while now) It’s a new color in and journaling Bible. I get easily distracted by a lot of things, so I think this will help me with jotting down notes and coloring within the pages!

This is just a small part of my testimony and how God works in my life and 

as always, 

to be continued……

wholeheartedly…

Ever since my senior year of high school, I have created a word I want to focus on for the year. This idea is based off the book “One Word”, you should totally give it a read… it’s so worth it! 

Looking back to when I started, I have learned I need to start focusing on these words and actions right away and stop doing it just when I feel like it during the course of the year.

My 2016 Word was beginning: beginning a new job, beginning college, beginning commuting, beginning getting involved in my new city ect.

My 2017 Word was originally going to be wait, but I shifted it to growth.  I feel like 2017 was the year of growth for me. I was growing and learning about moving on, bettering myself and just trying to get out of my comfort zone and enjoy life more. I was growing and maturing each day. (see my previous blog post for more!)

My 2018 Word this year is wholeheartedly!   

In this new year, I want to to wholeheartedly love, follow and trust Jesus. To go all in.

To give everything I have to Jesus, my friends, family, others, Camp and myself.

There is only one kind of life that really glorifies Him, and that is the life that is •wholeheartedly• given over to Him.

“It means to follow Him in all that we are, in all that we do and in all that we say, and to do this wherever we are and under every circumstance –- completely.” I think this year, I just need to learn to trust Jesus wherever He takes me. I need to wholeheartedly put everything I can into strengthening my faith, strengthening my relationships with my family and friends and strengthening myself as a camp counselor. I would love to say yes more in 2018, say yes to anything good that comes my way. I just want to put my all into everything and be happy while doing so. In 2018, I want to give everything I have to Jesus and others.

2017 just really wasn’t my year.

I’m going to be extremely blunt and totally honest with you, right now. 

2017 just really wasn’t my year. 

In 2017, oh man… it taught me a lot. 

I’ve learned that God is still there even in our messy and broken lives. He is there, walking along side of you, holding your hand saying it’s going to be okay. I see it as if I put myself in a huge, deep dark tunnel so far back that, light or any sort of color couldn’t get to me. I isolated myself and tried to protect myself as much as possible, so I couldn’t get hurt again.

I was trying extremely hard to find my way out and once I finally did, I saw Jesus… 

way in the distance, holding a lantern showing me to the exit. 

Through everything that has happened in 2017, I’m proud to be writing this for you today saying that I’ve learned to turn toward my Creator more, because He is the one who can heal all. 

2017 kicked me, knocked me down more times than I can count and really kept barely dragging me along. This whole year I’ve learned everything in the book that there ever is to know about the phrase “moving on”.
The most important part I’ve learned is...
it’s FAR from easy. 

For me during this year, moving on has been unfortunately realizing I need to accept change and finally making that change. When I went tumbling into my obvious new reality, it was hard. It took a long time to understand it. I’ve learned that moving on consists of spitting out a softly spoken, “hey” at 9 at night, in a random bookstore after not talking in months. I’ve learned that it all can heal, it might take a really, really long time. But it can and it will and it will be stronger than before.

But the good news is, 

I’ve grown and became a better person in 2017. I’ve matured massively and I’ve shown myself how much better I can be. Another life lesson that I’ve learned a lot this year, is that I enjoyed my alone time more. Don’t get me wrong, I love people. I love hanging out and seeing people all the time but I also love separating myself to recharge. Whether it’s walking around an amusement park by myself, sitting on the dock at the lake, putting my hammock up at camp, listening to music around campus, going on a bike ride alone or even just sitting in bed. I’ve learned to be more comfortable by myself this year. I’ve also realized the people I want in my life and who really wants to be in mine. I’ve realized that I need to surround myself with people who bring out the happiness in me, it’s that simple. I visted Camp 5 separate times this year… February, twice in August, October & November!

I’ve finally learned how to trust new people that came into my life this year, which it really took me a while to learn this one. And I finally found a way to be happy again, oh I missed that. I’ve learned that some people I’ve known for such a short amount of time can want better for me than anyone I’ve known for years, in many different situations. Because of that… I made some of my best friends this year, in many different places of my life that I hope to have for years to come! And wow am I so thankful for all of them. I’ve learned to turn towards my wide group of friends more and more everyday, they are such a wonderful gift from God, that I do not deserve.

I’ve been through crazy experiences and gone on adventures I’ve never thought I’d ever get to do (and got the best pictures for insta while doing so!). I’ve been to unbelievable places and loved every second of it!  This year, I’ve held my friends hands tight while learning how rollerblade, closed my eyes while on scary rollercoasters, threw up on the way home from Cedar Point (it sucked then but is hilarious now!), slept in tent, got a weird sunburn on my face from falling asleep on the beach, laughed in a hotel room with The Crew, walked the streets of DC on a cold January weekend, ran away from the zombies in Zombie Tag,  shopped in the hot Ann Arbor summer heat with my aunt, watched the Solar Eclipse from the lake house, went to 2 amazing concerts!, made new friends I felt like I have known my whole life and stayed up until unbelievable hours of the night, discovered new restaurants and stores, spent weeks at the lake, met up with Chris and Pip at Chipotle a bunch;  I just love how God has us 3 in the same place during this season of our lives, I also taught myself how to save more money in a way this year and that every penny counts, I ate way too much ice cream, became a  counselor and a cabin leader in Freshman Camp, went on many amazing day trips and even got to see my best friends get married and so much more. 

These are just some of the perfect memories I’ve had in this year,

2017 wasn’t all bad.

The best part and the only part that really matters is I fell back on Jesus more in 2017 and He listened to all my prayers that ended in my pillow being stained with tears. I have totally strengthened my faith this year and that is something I am so proud of. He has given me people that show me His unending love and forgiveness each minute of every day and I couldn’t be more thankful.

Lord in 2018, I pray to become a better sister, daughter, niece, granddaughter and friend.

and in the end, that I become better at following You.

This year has been mostly stressful, lonely and confusing but oh wow, my God is none of those things. 

He’s strong, mighty and lovely. 

He’s better in the hills and braver in the valleys, I promise.

He’s the reason why I’m still smiling.

life update 11/10/17

Hey friends!

UPDATE:

Wow, this semester has really flown by! UT is now on a shorter semester schedule, so many of the class times and course schedules have changed as well.

It is hard to believe that it is already November, and that December and finals will be here before I know it! This semester has been filled with many bumps along the way but I have come to this point stronger than ever. hills and valleys, people!

I have been meeting up with Chris & Pip for dinner about once a month or so near campus. How cool is it that God has us in, pretty much, the exact same area in this season of our lives!

I have been trying to get more involved with The Catholic Student Association on campus this semester. I attended Girls Night where we learned how to paint a beautiful fall tree and I have been going to the general meetings as well. I would love to really get to know even more people in CSA.

Freshmen Camp is in full swing like always at this time of the year with mandatory Thursday night meetings. At meeting last night, we had our annual Friendsgiving meal. If you don’t already know, I have stepped up in the University YMCA and Freshmen Camp programs this year… I am now the Christian Emphasis Coordinator and I give a little devotional speech before each meeting, it is a nice way to start meeting every week and bring people together. Taking on this role on Cabinet for the UY also consists of office hours in our UY house. During office hours, I clean the house, work on my devotional for the week, homework and anything else I need to get done. 

Next weekend, we are trying something new for Fall Retreat and going up to Camp Storer for a night. We are going to do some volunteer service work around camp to work off our stays there throughout the year. I am really looking forward to it! That will be my 9th time at camp in 9 years:)

I am also taking a huge step into being a level 2 Freshmen Camp Counselor, facilitating more and learning as much as I possibly can… (so please pray for all of  that!)

A few more things:

•I’m scheduling classes for next semester so that’s exciting!

•Babysitting, working and going to college creates a very busy schedule for me! 

•God has been really teaching me patience in all aspects of my life, recently. 

•I have been LOVING to post on my blog and get my thoughts out there.

•I am excited for thanksgiving soon and getting a couple days off!

•I have a huge trip to my favorite place EVER with my favorite people EVER, lined up for about 2 months from now and I can’t possibly wait!!

I’m sure there’s a ton more but… Any and all thoughts and prayers are more than welcomed in the coming weeks as this semester is ending! 

Thanks to all my family and friends for sticking by me and encouraging me along the way! Have a great day :)

still trying…

im not good at telling stories. I’m so easily distracted it’s not even funny. i'm a messy eater. half the time i don't make sense. i lose track of time easily. i leave the tv on. i'm unsure about every decision i make. I’m on my phone for too long.  i always forget to bring dishes from my room. i don't reply to messages for days. I suck at a lot of things and sometimes i just want to stay in bed all day and throw my phone across the room. i engage in conversations i have no interest in. i sometimes don’t think before i speak and I have no idea what I’m doing. I have no clue why I’m in college.  I trust people too easily but then sometimes i don’t trust them enough. I hide things from my friends even though I know they will always be there for me. I always think I’ll just figure it out when the time comes without actually doing something about it when i can. I feel like God is so far away. 

I am broken and lost and confused in life. 

i care more about the opinions of others than my opinion of myself. 

i'm still trying to figure myself out. i'm trying to acknowledge the not so obvious and not so appealing traits about myself. not for any reason. just trying to get to know myself a little better.

what it’s like when your dad works from home…

so long story,

February 2010. My mom, sister and I are at home. Dad went to work just like normal. Dad calls (which isn’t unusual). Except it wasn’t Dad. It was one of his coworkers. My dad broke his leg. And it’s bad. He twisted it in plastic wrap while working and fell. They are rushing him to the hospital. Meet him there. My dad has never broken a bone in his body.

I’ve never seen my mom drive so fast. Immediately, he was pushed in the doors on the stretcher. soon to find out Dad broke both bones in his leg. emergency surgery. immediate tears. 

a rod is put in his leg and multiple screws at his knee and ankle. I’ve never seen my dad in so much pain before.

He was so upset this happened. multiple nights in the hospital. we were so scared.

finally he gets to come home. which was followed by countless days with his leg in a cast, having to keep it elevated. lots of meals and long nights were spent in his lazy-boy chair. months later, I remember the day they said he could finally put weight on it. crutches and walkers and canes were a normal thing in my house during that time. he can’t run at all anymore. and he can’t walk long distances. 

the doctor said he needs to get the strength back in his leg, he suggested going on a bike ride if he thinks it was healed enough. 

that’s what sparked my dad’s obsession with old bicycles…

from that point forward, hundreds of bikes have came through our barn out back and basement. my dad buys them at a cheap price, fixes them up to the best it can be and resells it. any bike. any age. any condition. he will trade pieces and parts and clean the bike up to look brand new. 

he goes to bicycle shows, swap meets, estate sales, garage sales, old pull barns just about anywhere he thinks he could find an old bicycle. 

my dad does it all and on top of all of this he still works a 40+ hour work week. 

Isn't he the coolest? 

here’s a small glimpse as to what it’s like having a “bicycle shop” out of our house:

•it’s not an unusual thing to come home to 3 to 5 bicycles in the front yard for sale

•when someone pulls in the driveway, we automatically know to yell “Dad! Someone’s here for a bike!” it’s a normal saying around the house these days

•it’s also not an unusual thing to come home to some person in our driveway talking to my dad about bikes or him giving us a 5 minute warning that someone is coming over to look 

•my dad is usually texting or calling people who want to make a deal on a bicycle

•my sister and I are always making signs with how much money my dad wants to get from each bike $$

•he will buy a bike from a garage sale down the street, make me ride it home, clean it up and put it by the road and make a profit

•he once saw my friend riding an old bicycle from when my dad was a kid he tracked him down and asked to buy it from him 

(he did. it’s in the basement.)

•he’s known as “the bicycle guy” around town

•it’s “you got a bike you’re getting rid of? I’ll send whoever I can to pick it up!”

•it’s having to run outside in the pouring down rain to get a bicycle that someone is coming to buy soon

•it’s taking multiple pictures and editing them multiple ways of each bike he has

•it’s getting out of the shower and being surprised that my dad sold a bike within the time I was in there

•it’s going on bike rides around town with my dad  riding a new bike each time

•it’s people saying nice bike. all. the. time.

•it’s all hands on deck when it’s garage sale day around here

•it’s getting a phone call (or just coming home to) and it’s my dad asking can he sell MY bike… 

(wasn’t very happy about that one, but he said he’d save the money for my books for college)

•it’s having my dad scroll through my Facebook just looking for a good deal on a bike someone must have posted

•it’s looking for free bikes along side of the road. doesn’t matter the vehicle we are in. he will make it work. (even if it means taking them apart, loading them in my little car. the trunk didn’t shut. probably not good. we always get the bikes though.)

•it’s driving anywhere and seeing a bike for sale along side of the road and telling my dad and he says “get in the car! let’s go see if it’s still there!”

•it’s taking a Father’s Day trip to the Bicycle Museum of America (it was really fun trip!)

•it’s when me or someone in town is having a problem with their bike, they bring it to my dad. 

my dad simply does it all. If you need anything, my dad can do it. (or he knows someone who can!) my dad is awesome and I am so grateful for him and his hardworking and adventurous personality!

I love you Dad, thank you for everything!